This week people all over America will be talking about family, friends, and relationships. And that is a wonderful thing. We at Sweeten CPA have a plenty of family that we love and cherish. However, during this time of the year, there are a lot of feelings that we don't talk about. With the joy that is brought on by the holidays, there is an equally large emptiness. It's easy to look at someone else and mourn the things you don't have that they do; to numb your pain with the hustle of noise of everything else around you; or to allow corporate boundaries to separate ourselves from the humanity of humanity.
Today is not the day to create more separation. I had the opportunity to speak to our team about the practice of "Yes, And". We as humans don't like to be any kind of uncomfortable. Too cold, too hot, too angry, too sad. Even worse than feeling that ourselves, we hate to be there when someone else is feeling their emotions even more! So, then we find ourselves saying really stupid unhelpful things with the best intentions: "There's always a rainbow after the rain" and "don't worry about it" or "it'll all work out". We want to gloss over the pain, the uncomfortable, the reality of the situation. During this upcoming holiday of joy and sorrow, I want to say two things. First, "yes". Yes, it's tough. Yes, it's okay to feel your feelings. Yes, you don't have to say anything.
After you sit in that for a minute, I want to add "and?". And what comes next? When you are going through the thick of whatever you are going through, it can feel like you won't ever make it out. It feels like you leave the timeline of the world around you and exist somehow separately and removed. You can acknowledge that there will be an after, something that comes next. Sometimes you need to plan a fictitious trip or think about holiday presents 9 months early to remember that there will be an after.
So, whether you are in the thick of it now, you're missing someone who is not around, you can't find any joy in this season, or even healed from your thick of it, Yes. it is difficult. And there will be an after. It's okay if it's not right now.